Insecurity can lock a man into always falling short of his potential.
I just finished reading a wonderful book and it reminded me of many things. I rode a bike to the library picked out a book and headed to a cafe to sit and read. Shortly into the book I read a statement that peaked my interest. As I had rode a bike to the cafe I had not brought along with me my usual notepad to jot down notes and inspiration. So I proceeded to open my ‘thoughts’ note on my phone where I often write these notes when a pen and paper are not available. Before typing, I realized it was going to be necessary to write a significant amount more than just this first statement to write down. So near the cafe I found a shop and spent far too much on a new journal and pen. One of those journal’s that would have enticed many others, but for me I would have been just as happy with a legal notepad and a HB2 Pencil.
As I dug deeper into the book a defining thought was permeating through my mind, or as they would write the thought ‘marinated’ in my mind.
I recall when I first received my now tattered and torn notepad. A good friend gave it to me along with a letter and a note. Someone I had admired had mentioned to me, in a public setting, that I needed to write down the thoughts and ideas that were coming to my mind. My friend bought the journal, knowing me well enough to say that I would likely delay and never purchase a journal if I could avoid it, so she took the liberty. I filled many pages within the first few days. It became a location for me to escape my mind. I could extract the thought and no longer need to hold on to it, the thought that could often block my mind from allowing anything else in.
I’m in a new journal now, but many of the same thoughts I find myself writing down again. Reminding myself that many lessons you intend and are required to learn keep blocking your path forward until you’ve truly put them into action.
-I will apologize in advance to anyone reading further into this post as I know it will be very scattered and a great degree unorganized.
Ignorance has the ability to fool yourself into believing you are smarter than you are. It can also compound the insecurity you feel within, disabling you from overcoming your fears.
As I’m sure that statement makes very little sense… i’ll provide an example of what I’m thinking.
I like to believe that I am very intelligent… and that often powers me to say ‘yes I understand’ or ‘I know’ when I have truly no idea what the person is talking about. It also allows me to nod my head as someone speaks using words my mind does not know the definition for. While reading this book in the last day I found many terms the author used that I did not understand. At first, I just kept reading and in vain it was. I then began to realize there was no benefit for me to continue if I did not understand, so I began to look up definitions, to write them down, to read the phonics of the terms… I began to take the real opportunity in front of me to learn and not simply be ignorant of the truth. The truth that I DID NOT KNOW.
Many people are unhappy with who they are and the situation their life is currently in. Often they look for motivations to encourage the change they desire, such as a spouse, an occupation, a promotion or a number of other things. The issue I’ve found in this is that that if the motivation disappears so does the change. Whether it’s something simple like making your bed every day, or something like quitting smoking, I’ve yet to find a truth other than the change must be motivated and made for you by you. If you do not determine that you want to be different… you will only change for a time. A statement I have written down says this ‘You are only who YOU determine to become’. Without personal determination, the change will only be service.
Consider a weed. I spent many days during my summer pulling weed, after weed. Now as tedious as it may have been, my boss knew that only by pulling out the roots would it not grow back. Change is much the same. You can cut off the top, you can appear a changed person but unless you dig deep and get the root of the problem and deal with that’s hidden below the surface, the thing you’ve tried to change will only reappear in due time. And when it does… it’s up to you to make the decision.
‘Life is powered by Inertia’
Like a boulder falling down a mountain, unless something interrupts it’s path, the boulder will continue in its path.
I have two versions of my future that are often available for me to view in my mind. The first is the life I want, the future I dream of and see. The second tends to be the obvious destination the one that exists if I continue as the boulder does, without interruption. Interruption is uncomfortable, often painful, and undesired…. but in order to accomplish the desired outcome. Not desired by others, but the one you really want, you really need, you must cause friction, and not allow the forces around you shape you. You must stand up and create the new reality, the future that changes everything.
I hope something I’ve written above entices a thought within you… Cause that’s all I have at the moment, is thoughts about the future and right now I’m allowing them to marinate.
